Everything I Know About Professional Networking, I Learned the Hard Way
July 10, 2026
At lunch this week with the fabulous Polly and Sara of SEC Newgate
In high school I periodically went through phases of feeling like what can only be described as a friendless loser. I remember walking into the dining hall every day, tray in hand, scanning the room and having absolutely no idea where to sit.
In my second year I even ended up in the “rejects dorm” of my boarding school, where all the strays without any real friendship group got lumped together. We didn’t band together and form a rebellious crew of outcasts, Mighty Ducks style. We had nothing in common. We just coexisted miserably.
At the time, it sucked.
Looking back, though, it taught me something useful. The feeling of standing awkwardly on the edge of a room does not actually kill you.
It feels like it might, but it doesn’t.
I actually think this is the real reason so many people dread networking.
They won’t admit it, but many of the most seasoned leaders still have to gee themselves up before walking into a room full of strangers or loose acquaintances. For many people the discomfort never really goes away; it just changes scale. They now dread exclusion at Davos instead of a drinks reception at MIPIM. If you’ve read Careless People, you’ll know exactly what I mean.
But networking is a fundamental part of being a founder, an entrepreneur or anyone with responsibility for growing a business. It’s also important if you’re building a career.
One of the first things I was taught about the real estate is that it’s a relationship business, especially in the UK.
The older I’ve become, the more I see it. It's often the difference between somebody saying, “We should ask Chenai to pitch for this,” and somebody saying, “Who’s that? Never heard of her.”
One of the biggest mistakes people make is waiting until they need something before they start networking.
They wait until they’ve been made redundant before reaching out to old colleagues. They wait until they’re desperate for a new job before dusting off LinkedIn. They wait until they need an introduction before remembering to stay in touch with people.
Relationships don’t really work like that. The strongest professional networks are built long before you need them. They’re built one coffee, one conference, one introduction and one catch-up at a time.
Naturally, most people assume I absolutely love networking
I think about those years of friendless loserdom more often than you might expect because one of the biggest misconceptions about me today is that I absolutely love networking.
If you follow me on LinkedIn, you probably see me standing in rooms full of people, smiling as though I have always wanted to spend my life making small talk.
I network a lot. I’m a CEO. I attend roundtables and luncheons and conferences and drinks receptions. I am the industry face of all my ventures. I even… get this… run a professional real estate network, I am literally THE Chief Experience Maker.
CREDIT: Property Week
The truth is my relationship to networking is more complicated.
First of all, I don’t drink alcohol, which removes one of the social lubricants that many people rely on in these situations.
Secondly, I hate the masks and the unwritten rules. I spend an extraordinary amount of mental energy trying to work out when a conversation has naturally ended, whether someone is genuinely interested or just being polite, whether I’ve spoken too much, whether I’m being too direct for polite British society.
My gift and curse is that I loathe small talk.
It’s a gift because I’m not freaked out by people who skip the superficial bit and go straight to the stuff of life. Tell me your cat has just died. Tell me your business is failing. It might make someone else uncomfortable. I love it.
It’s a curse because occasionally I too just go off and god forbid give an honest answer to the question “How are you?” A former therapist once suggested she thought I might be autistic. I don’t know whether that is true or not, but one thing I do know is that I often find the rules around conversation more tiring than the conversation itself.
Then again, there are the things I genuinely love about networking
I’m fascinated by people. I can have a conversation with a complete stranger and leave feeling completely energised. I learn so much from being out and about.
Some of the most important people in my career are people I would never have met if we hadn’t both happened to be at the same event… networking. They are clients, business partners, collaborators and dare I say, even friends. You just never know where one conversation will lead.
Networking forces me to be less inward facing. I wouldn’t be a very good strategist If all I ever heard were the opinions inside my own professional echo chamber.
Many people cannot believe I’ve only lived in the UK for ten years.
That’s it. I didn’t grow up here, didn’t study here, and didn’t even start my career in real estate. Most of my 5000 or so LinkedIn connections are people I’ve actually met in real life…at networking events. I’m obviously not messaging 5,000 people every day, but that’s not really the point. The point is that relationships compound.
At a networking event recently with Tanisha of Concept Culture
A few weeks ago I sat down to write an article about networking - to share my golden nuggets!
It was something like “ten things I learned about networking in real estate as an outsider” or "crush real estate networking, chenai style" - look it's still a work in progress.
A couple of hours later ( I write all of my LinkedIn posts in bed at night…) I realised I had written a mountain of ideas with anedcotes to match. Too many things to squish into a single post.
It turns out I have rather a lot of thoughts on networking in real estate.
So instead of trying to squeeze everything into one essay, I’ve decided to do it over time, as part of my Friday Funday series.
Over the coming weeks I'll be writing about things like
You're not imagining it, some Rooms Are Not For You
There Is a Lot to Be Gained From Being a Fly on the Wall
People Do Business With People They Like
The Airport Test (and Why Likeability Matters More Than We Admit)
Pull Out the LinkedIn QR Code
Network Sideways, Not Just Upwards
The People Who Forget Your Name (and Why You Shouldn't Take It Personally)
Why Networking Is Really About Trust
The Best Networkers Aren't Always the Loudest People in the Room
I'm sure I'll think of a few more before I'm finished. And change those titles.
If networking has ever made you feel like the only person in the room who didn’t get the memo, I hope you’ll enjoy them.
As an aside, I run a real estate network called Experience Makers
I wouldn't be a serious businesswoman if I didn't shamelessly plug my own real estate network here.
If you're looking for your next real estate network, I'd love you to consider becoming a member of Experience Makers. We’re the UK’s leading network for customer experience professionals in real estate - sharing best practice, building community, and driving change. We bring together real estate professionals from across asset classes—offices, retail, industrial, residential, mixed-use and more. Our membership options ranging from free Bronze membership through to Corporate Gold. Along the way you'll be invited to regular lunches, study tours, research partnerships and conversations with some of the brightest minds in real estate customer experience.
We'd love to welcome you. After all, if this article has convinced you of anything, I hope it's that some of the best opportunities in life begin with walking into a room full of strangers.
To learn more about Experience Makers: https://www.experiencemakers.com/
For more insights like this follow me, Chenai Gondo, PhD
Topics Covered in this Article
Professional networking, Business networking, Real Estate Customer Experience, Real estate networking, Networking in real estate, Networking for founders, Networking for women, Women in leadership, Women in Real Estate, Leadership, Business development, Building professional relationships, Career development, Introverts and networking, Authentic networking, Customer experience, Real estate customer experience, Experience Makers